A cancer diagnosis is shocking and upsetting, leaving you anxious, confused, and dazed. Then it hits you: how will you tell your children you have cancer? 

Breaking the news to your children that you have cancer can be one of the most challenging conversations to have with your children. Worrying about how they’ll react and cope with the news is natural. They may feel scared, confused, and worried about your health and their future. 

There’s no right or wrong way to let your children know about your cancer diagnosis (although keeping it a secret is not recommended). Everyone reacts differently to the news of a cancer diagnosis. But you know your children better than anyone, including the best way to share the news. Here are some tips to help you talk to your children about your diagnosis. 

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According to the American Cancer Society, nearly two million people were diagnosed with cancer in the US in 2021 — with thousands of them estimated to be parents of minor children. Children whose parents have cancer react to the diagnosis in various ways.

Multiple studies show that children dealing with a parent’s cancer diagnosis have a higher risk of emotional and behavioral problems, like depression and anxiety. Several factors — the disruption of daily routines, changing household roles, financial stress, and a parent’s physical and emotional availability — are contributing aspects.

Although each child might react differently, common issues might also include difficulties in school and other social settings and regressive behavior. For some children, reactions can indicate symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

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There’s extensive information available about how mentors make a significant difference in the lives of their mentees. However, the mentoring relationship is a two-way street, and serving as a mentor in a peer-led organization can profoundly impact the lives of both the mentor and the mentee.

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First and foremost, mentors can ensure that children dealing with a parent with cancer don’t feel alone. Regardless of their situation — dealing with a recently diagnosed parent, one undergoing treatment, a parent who’s a cancer survivor, or the pain of coping with the loss of a parent due to cancer — a mentor will provide support.

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A cancer diagnosis turns everyone’s world into a tailspin. Fortunately, there are ways to help children cope with cancer's emotional, psychological, and social impact.

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